


Q-riosity

by Pa_tr0_clus



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Neck Kissing, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-01-31 11:07:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18590008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pa_tr0_clus/pseuds/Pa_tr0_clus
Summary: Q wants to know what sex is like.More specifically, Q wants to know what sex with Jean-Luc Picard is like.





	Q-riosity

"Bonjour, mon Capitaine!" 

Picard sighed in frustration and looked over at his ready-room door to find a certain entity parading in an Admiral's uniform leaning against the door. It wasn't opening so Q must've been forcing it to stay closed for _effect_ which somehow irritated Picard even more than Q arriving suddenly and scaring him. 

Picard was sat in his Captain's chair on the bridge, surrounded by his bridge staff, who were immediately all on guard and ready for the Captain's orders. Whilst Q's presence was entirely unwanted, it wasn't exactly a surprise to Picard, he'd just been sat thinking about how quiet everything had been lately. They were on a simple mission to deliver some medicine to a federation colony several days away, leaving Picard with nothing to do but think about how utterly bored he will be for the foreseeable future. Q seemingly took that as a challenge. 

"Q." He addressed the entity tersely. 

"In the flesh." He gestured to his body with both hands, as if it wasn't a given that he had a body. 

'Well, most of the time he likely doesn't have one.' Picard considered. 

"What do you want, Q?" Riker cut in sharply, getting straight to the point. He stood up to speak to Q, challenging him to retaliate. 

Q crossed his arms over his chest, a smug look upon his face. "Nothing that concerns you, Riker, I assure you. I'm here for Jean-Luc."

All eyes were on the Captain. "What do you mean you're 'here for' me?" He was almost too afraid to ask, but at least it seemed that Q was more interested in just him rather than his crew and his ship. As long as the ship was safe, he was willing to put up with Q's meddling. 

Worf strode over from behind his station to stand in front of Q, near enough for the door sensor to to active and open, letting Q fall back. Before he hit the ground he disappeared and reappeared in Riker's recently vacated seat. 

"Now that wasn't very nice was it? Starfleet should really keep you on a leash." Q tutted. 

Worf growled in response but moved back behind his console.

Q continued, "And to answer your question, Jean-Luc, I mean that I am here to ask you a favour." 

"Sir, I believe it would be unwise to help Q. Past experiences would suggest that he likely has ulterior motives." Data piped up. 

"How touching, look Jean-Luc, he's concerned about you. Don't you worry your little metal head, I won't cause any harm to the ship or or precious Captain. This time, anyway." Q assured Data, all the while Riker glared at him for taking his seat. Or simply existing. Either reason would be justified, honestly. 

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Picard asked, rather curious about what Q could possibly need his help with. 

Q smiled dangerously. "You don't, that's part of the fun!" 

"I beg to differ." Picard grumbled, mostly to himself. Everyone on the bridge was tensely watching their exchange in silence, unsure of what to do. 

"Sir, I strongly advise that- " Riker started. 

"Oh, I've had enough of this!" Q declared and snapped his fingers, transporting Picard and himself to the Captain's quarters in a flash of bright white light. 

Picard found himself sitting on his couch with Q beside him, sitting uncomfortably close. He instantly stood up, angry at being taken off of the bridge, and to his own quarters of all places! 

"Q! Take me back to the bridge right now! Or better yet, get off my ship!" He yelled, having reached his limit with Q's antics. 

"Relax, nothing's going to happen while you're away, I promise." He put his hand on his heart, theatric as ever. "You're always saying how you trust your crew, don't you trust them not to blow up your ship while you're gone?"

Picard glared at him. "I shouldn't have to be 'gone' I _should_ be on the bridge right now."

"Fine, I'll take us out of time completely. You can help me and I can have you back there before they even know you're gone, happy?" Q suggested, making Picard realise that he wasn't going to give up until he got what he wanted. Whatever it was he even wanted.

"With you around? Never." 

"You wound me, Jean-Luc." Q's voice was filled with mock pain. "You're almost making me reconsider trusting you with this." 

Picard sat back down on his couch, noticeably further away from Q than before. "And what exactly is 'this'?" 

"I want to try something, and I need your help to do it." Q admitted almost sheepishly. Picard had never seen Q look hesitant before, and it scared him slightly. 

"What could you possibly need help from _me_ to do?" Picard asked, incredulous. 

Q considered for a second. "This."

He lurched forward and pressed his lips against Picard's, eyes wide open all the while. Picard instinctively jerked back and fell off the couch onto the floor. 

"Are you alright, Jean-Luc?" Q asked, seeming to be genuinely concerned. He shuffled forward on the couch to lean over Picard, eyes scanning over him looking for injuries. 

"You- you can't just- you can't just _kiss_ people, Q! Explain yourself!" He blustered, still in shock. He stayed on the ground where he landed; he was mind was too preoccupied with _'what on Earth did Q think he was doing?'_ to think about getting up and dusting himself off. His thoughts were whirring in his mind a mile a minute, frantically scrambling to come up with an explanation for what had just happened. Most likely it was just Q's latest attempt to vex him and disrupt his voyages, but a tiny voice in the back of Picard's mind dared to suggest that Q may have some sort of feelings for him. Picard shuddered, not knowing which was worse. 

"Humans enjoy kissing, don't they? I wanted to see what I was missing." Q shrugged, holding out a hand to help Picard back up. 

Picard batted his proffered hand away, refusing his help. He stood up using the couch for support instead and brushed the dust off of his uniform. "Yes, well, it is usually a requirement to actually like the person before you kiss them." 

"But I do like you, Jean-Luc!" Q insisted, pouting slightly. 

Picard shook his head fiercely. "Oh no, no, no. Not like that you don't."

"Well, we're friends at least, aren't we?" Q stood up and stepped closer to Picard, who drew away again. 

"Hardly." Picard laughed harshly. "You're just an entity that insists on periodically giving me grief and endangering my ship and her crew. You're a nuisance and seemingly live to cause trouble and test my admittedly limited patience. You seem to know exactly how to evoke powerful emotions from me; you make me so angry sometimes, Q." 

"Are you sure that's all I make you feel?" Q's voice was low as he took another step towards the Captain, who didn't retreat this time. Somewhere deep down, Picard felt some emotions bubbling up that he'd tried very hard to ignore and eradicate. Out of sight, out of mind was his line of thinking, but it was undoubtedly harder to put those feelings out of his mind when the cause of them was right in front of him and getting closer and closer with every second that passed. He felt all of his anger dissipate at once. 

Picard took a small step forward and gently placed his hands on Q's shoulders. On that damn Admiral's uniform he was wearing which was disrespectful and irritating to no end. He leaned forward slowly and closed his eyes, sealing their lips together in a sweet kiss. 

Q was stiff and still and didn't react so after a few awkward seconds, Picard pulled away. "This is what you wanted, isn't it? Aren't you going to kiss me back?" 

"I have to confess that I'm not quite sure how. You see, members of the continuum generally don't have a physical form, so I am rather... inexperienced with matters such as these." Q couldn't look Picard in the eye, he was embarrassed to be worse at something than a simple human. 

Picard chuckled slightly. "Well I guess I shall just have to teach you then. Sit, I'll guide you through it."

Q (amazingly) obeyed and dutifully sat back down on the couch, watching as Picard sat next to him and placed a hand carefully on his knee. 

"First, you must close your eyes." Picard instructed. 

"Why?" 

"I don't know, you just do. Are you going to listen to me or not, Q?" Picard asked, regretting his offer for a second. 

Q's demeanour changed as he sensed Picard's regret. "Fine, fine. Yes, step one: close eyes, what's next?" 

"You just... gently move your lips together. It's hard to explain, it's mostly instinctual." Picard spoke then closed the gap between them. This time Q reacted, albeit awkwardly, but learned fast and was soon kissing back enthusiastically.

Picard moved a hand up to the back of Q's head and tangled his fingers in his hair. Q tried to mirror his actions before remembering that Picard didn't have hair, so he slid his hand around to lightly cup Picard's cheek. Picard used his free hand to capture Q’s and held it, idly rubbing agonisingly light circles with the thumb. It was a very peculiar feeling, one which Q had never felt before and never thought he’d have the desire to feel again and again and again. 

Picard broke away for a millisecond to breathe deeply then reattached their lips with a renewed need and enthusiasm. It was all too much and too little at once. He needed more; he needed to feel _more_. He removed the hand that was tangled in Q’s hair and trailed it downwards and fumbled to find the zip of that damned Admiral’s uniform. He’d often wished Q would take the infuriating thing off, but never did he expect that it would be himself who would be pulling it off of his body, and especially not in a situation such as this. However he had to admit, this was a very pleasurable way to go about it. 

Once his fingers found the zip he pulled it all the way down and yanked the jacket off by the sleeves. Q tried to help but ended up with his hands getting in the way so settled for relaxing into the kiss and letting the Captain do with him as he pleased. Picard eventually managed to get the jacket loose and tossed it onto the floor, not caring where it landed, and pulled Q into his lap, his hands roving over the newly exposed flesh. 

It was like Jean-Luc’s hands were trailing pure electricity over his skin, alighting it with with pleasure at the lightest touch. It felt like lighting and made Q forget how to breathe. He frowned slightly, making Jean-Luc draw back out of this kiss to shoot him a look of confusion, to which Q replied by snapping his fingers to vanish the rest of his uniform and Picard’s own uniform, leaving them both in Starfleet-issue boxers.

Picard simply chuckled slightly and brought his face close to Q’s again. Q closed his eyes in anticipation for another sweet kiss, but then shot open again in surprise as he felt soft lips against his neck instead of his mouth. A gasp fell from him as Jean-Luc mouthed down his neck, hot and insistent, until he reached his collarbone where he licked and sucked at the skin. Q wrapped both arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Picard pressed several feather-light kisses on the place he’d just attacked, then sat back to admire his handiwork. 

“Do that again. Please.” Q’s voice was low and rough and the simple sound of those four words sent a shiver of pleasure down Jean-Luc’s back. 

“I have a better idea.” 

And before Q could ask what he meant, Jean-Luc had flipped them over so Q was sitting on the couch and he was between his legs. He slid back and positioned himself so that he was kneeling on the ground and started kissing down his chest, then his stomach, further and further until he got to the waistband of Q’s underwear where he paused and looked up into Q’s eyes, silently asking for permission. Q nodded, rendered speechless by Jean-Luc’s ministrations. Jean-Luc responded by removing Q’s boxers at an agonisingly slow speed, despite Q lifting his hips and ghosting his hands over Jean-Luc’s to help. Once they were off and pooled around his ankles on the floor Jean-Luc pressed an open mouth kiss on each of the entity’s thighs, ignoring his half-hard cock for now and simply revelling in the light breathy noises it elicited from him. 

“I am going to take you apart piece... by... piece,” he muttered, voice deep and threaded with lust. He dipped his head and took Q’s cock in his mouth, earning a loud gasp and two hands flying to hold the back of his head. 

_“Yes...”_ Q breathed as Jean-Luc swirled his tongue over the head of his cock and took the the base of it in his hand, stroking gently. Jean-Luc hollowed his cheeks and bobbed his head to take more in. Q bucked his hips up slightly, making Jean-Luc feel the need to hold them down with his spare hand. 

Q moaned quietly when Jean-Luc continued to bob and suck and moved his hand off of his cock to cup his balls. By now Q was at full-mast and Jean-Luc was well on the way too. His own penis was feeling achingly hard and neglected still trapped in his boxers and wholly untouched so far. He pulled off of Q’s cock with a rather obscene pop, a glistening string of saliva still connecting them. 

“My dear, would you mind terribly teleporting us to my bed? You’re so beautiful I don’t think i could take my hands off you long enough for us to walk there.” 

“Anything for you, mon amour.” He snapped his fingers once more and whisked them away to the bedroom, Q sitting up against the pillows with Jean-Luc kneeling in front of him. He’d vanished their remaining items of clothing and conjured up a bottle of lubricant for good measure. 

Jean-Luc kissed his cheek in thanks then whispered sensually in his ear: “I am going to fuck you until you forget your own name and the only sounds that come from your mouth are moans of pleasure. Pleasure that only _I_ can give you. Is that what you want? Do you want me inside you, rough and hot in your perfect, tight arse? Tell me you want me, Q, tell me you _need_ me- ”

“Please, please, fuck, Jean-Luc, I need you- I need you, I want you more than anything. Please- ah!” Q’s begging was interrupted by a sudden finger plunging inside him. Somehow while he was distracted Picard had lubed his fingers up, one of which was now curling and probing inside him. 

“God, yes! Ahh- fuck, Jean-Luc, more, more please.” Jean-Luc added another finger and continued his movements, scissoring them and listening to Q’s gasps and incessant lust-filled babbling. He moved his hand to his own dick and started stroking it time with his fingering, choking out a moan at his own touch. He added a third finger and pumped them in and out until he found that spot he was searching for. Q arched his back and screwed his eyes shut, making a strangled noise in his throat, and subsequently a needy whine when Jean-Luc removed his fingers, leaving Q feeling empty and frustrated. 

This time Q heard the click of the lube bottle opening and he opened his eyes to see Jean-Luc about to lube up his cock and stopped him. “Let do that, let me touch you.”

Q took the lube from him and squeezed a sizeable amount into his hand. Probably more than needed to be truthful, but better safe than sorry. He touched Jean-Luc’s cock for the first time, eliciting a soft moan, and liberally coated it with lube, stroking up and down the shaft and swiping a thumb over the tip before deeming him thoroughly prepared. Q needed him rather desperately. 

“Turn over.” 

“No, no, I- I want to see your face.” 

“God, the things you do to me, Q.” Jean-Luc chuckled quietly and leant in for another kiss. He licked along the seam of Q’s pursed lips and he immediately opened them, allowing his tongue inside the hot depths of his mouth. Jean-Luc lined up his cock with Q’s entrance and slowly pushed the tip inside, making both of them groan into each other’s mouths. The kiss was hot and wet and messy and uncoordinated but neither man could bring them self to care as Jean-Luc slowly pushed further inside until he was buried up to the hilt and paused for several moments, allowing Q to get used to the sensation. They were panting into each other’s mouths, and every nerve in their bodies felt as if they were on fire. 

“M- move.”

“Your wish is my command, my dear.” 

Jean-Luc pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back in and establishing a steady rhythm. The sound of their sweaty skin connecting was loud and obscene, but it felt so so good. 

“Perfect, you’re- you’re bloody perfect, Q. So good, so tight, so good for me.” 

Jean-Luc snapped his hips forwards faster and harder until hit Q’s prostate and Q came with a cry, painting their chests white with cum. He clenched down on Jean-Luc’s cock, triggering his orgasm as well and enveloping them in a feeling of pure bliss. Jean-Luc pulled out and flopped down on the bed, feeling boneless and hazy. They lay in silence for a few minutes, catching their breath and regaining the ability to think coherently. 

“That was- ” Jean-Luc started, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Amazing,” Q finished, smiling widely. “God, you were amazing, mon cœur. Oh, ew, it’s starting to dry, this is disgusting I’m all sticky Jean-Luc.”

“Hmm, you’re not the only one.” He winced at the feeling of Q’s cum drying stickily on his stomach and got up off the bed. “Come on, get up. We might as well shower together... purely to save water, of course.”

“Yes, of course. Nothing to do with the fact that you can’t keep your hands off me long enough to even take a shower.” Q smirked, getting up and pressing himself against Jean-Luc’s back and kissing the spot just below his ear. 

“You’re mine now, Q. I hope you know that I’m not intending to let you go.” Jean-Luc warned, walking the two of them over to his bathroom.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this on a whim at about 1am, please excuse any spelling errors/out of character moments there may have been, especially since this is my first time writing Qcard, and my first time writing porn 😂
> 
> French Translations:  
> Mon amour - my love  
> Mon cœur - my heart/my sweetheart


End file.
